It’s the age old story. Most people do it, few don’t and even less admit to it. I recently caught someone cheating over the weekend. However, I’m not going to say who. I blast on here, but not like that. I don’t name names. I left my little town and went to the city and even though it’s considered a “major” city by northwest standards, it really isn’t that big at all. Anyways…All the same excuses get used for cheating don’t they?
“It was an accident”
“It just happened.”
Or when worst comes to worst, blame the victim.
“You weren’t there for me.”
“You never spend time with me anymore.”
“We’ve been goin thru a rough patch.”
“This long distance is killin me.”
“You work too much.”
Whatever it may be. But then for those who use these excuses, I would like to ask the people that use them, “How does your dick accidentally slide into someone else’s coochie? How do you just happen to have someone’s dick in you? (For the ladies…and some men…)
Having sex with someone is no accident. It doesn’t just happen. You don’t just happen to get butt ass nekkid and fuck somebody. It’s a deliberate act. Shit, yo life is not an R. Kelly song! Now, yes, you can make a mistake. But making a mistake and doing something accidentally are two totally different things.
Blaming the victim, I can actually get. It’s not right. But I get it. It takes two people to make a relationship work. If one is not as invested in it as the other person, then yes, it’s going to fail. But there is a such thing as self control. If you fail to utilize it, that’s on you. That’s no one else’s fault. So, yes (he/or she) may not have been there for you. Yall may not have been spending any time together. Yall may have been goin thru a rough patch, yall could be long distance, they work too much or what have your but it’s your responsibility in the relationship to speak up. You can’t blame the other person if you don’t say anything. And if you have spoken up, why cheat? Leave the person you’re with or as I said before, communicate!
I personally believe that humans are sexual beings by nature. It’s necessary for procreation. I also believe that humans are not supposed to be monogamous. Especially on the part of men. They must pollinate many flowers in an effort to keep the species going. So, yes, men are more likely to cheat but that doesn’t mean women don't. And a whole helluva lot more women do than they or men want to admit.
I think the bottom line is that, if you’re in a committed relationship and yall have both promised to just be with the other person, you have no business cheating. If not, then knock yourself out. I think people who are engaged and married sure as hell shouldn’t be cheating. You’ve made a commitment to be with that person and that person alone, so you need to honor that. If you’re just seeing someone and you aint got no ring on yo finger, despite how much someone tells you they love you, expect to be cheated on. Not by all but definitely by most. Folks need to see what else is out there. Plus, folks have a habit of being scandalous as hell so they’re gonna do shit like that. It’s not right but they’ll do it.
Now, some folks may not like what I have to say next. In fact, a lot of folks won’t but I’ll say it anyways. There are respectful and disrespectful ways to cheat. Yes, there really are. It’s not right in any sense, but it can be done in a respectful way.
If someone is cheating on you and the person they’re cheating with has no connection to you in any sort of way. They’re attempting to cheat on you in a respectful manner. The person they’re fuckin around with don’t know yo homies/girls, yo cousins, don’t ever go to yo church, yo mama’s best friend/ play sista aint never did her hair. They don’t live in the same city, don’t know none of the same folks at all, aint Facebook friends or nothin, etc. etc. They’re tryin to cheat on you respectfully.
Yes, I know, some of yall will be like. If they’re cheating on you at all, that’s being disrespectful. And you’re right, it is. But it’s how they do it and with whom.
Now, if you have someone cheating on you and the person they’re cheating on you with lives right next door, is in your circle of friends, is your acquaintance or you know of or have heard of them in any way, shape or form. That’s disrespectful. That’s someone who does not give a damn about you at all and just wants to make you look stupid as hell!
So which way are they going about it?
It’s not right, as I’ve said time and time again. But I believe that it’s a lot more natural than society and folks would like to believe. Now, let me remind you of the Perils of Stupid Women vs. Stupid Men series pt.1, 2, 3, and 4 I did a while ago. (Will probably have more.) Refer to that and to this and maybe, just maybe you can get some clarity on yourself and the status of your relationship.
The key is to communicate. If folks are openly communicating and being honest with each other, cheating shouldn’t be a problem. However, folks don’t communicate. And they fa damn sho aren’t honest. And that’s why so much shit is goin down.
And always remember, if someone is cheating on you in the first place, they more than likely don’t love you. Yes, mistakes can be made and folks can come back from that after trust is regained. But someone who has repeatedly cheated on you, does not love you. And so many people, especially ladies, need to get it out of their head that they do.
Bottom line is that I of all people shouldn’t catch you doin it because you should know that shit would end up on the blog! (I don’t even think they saw me, since they were so wrapped up in so and so) Which tells me, that either you wanted to get caught or you just didn’t care….And that rings of disrespectful cheating….
